tonight is the night for warm dark beds to be avoided

this is my reward for getting homework done. as soon as I finish i can come and do what i enjoy. blog. yay! i will be back. right back. in a little bit it is 8:55 right now. but i will wait for a few minutes because 8:55 is to even of a time. i prefer 8:57 and so i will wait for 8:57 to come around... ... 8:56... 8:57 it is 8:57 right now. i am going to go to home work. i will be back. in a little bit. to blog. because i like to rant. and write. and talk to people who don't exist.

it is now very late at night and I am blogging as i wait for my hair to dry. I now stay up even later to do this. I am tired enough to be completely devoid of a filter so whatever i write should be interesting to look at later. don't really want to sleep of late. to much to not do. i am so unproductive it's unfunny. my drawing has fallen behind. already. i need to set up a schedule for myself so that it happens Every day. not ever Other day.

Neon trees. i love thee

'tis the season of colds and i have one. the lover has one too. he's not allowed to come to school tomorrow because of it but he will anyways.

i have memories.

i live my life inside like a storybook. dictating to myself, myself. it makes things more interesting. and sometimes things will happen that are so perfectly nice they deserve a page of writing. saturday happens. [ed]

a broken picture inside a broken bottle of broken glass broken lying on the floor broken

broken

not yet. to far.

words that i find to be words that i love to find

broken

skin

glass

dusk

damp

coolness

find

lost

whimsical

celestial

ethereal

sublime

narrow

hollow

empty

they are beautiful words. simple. and so full of images i feel like they will break.

people are funny. i am funny. i can't listen to myself think because i can't think. to much mud on the floor upstairs and so i go splooch splooch when i walk. sticky gooy.

may i feel lost.

because i do

sometimes

perhaps it is this particular stage in my life.

i used to know exactly what i wanted. i wanted school. i wanted nice grades. i wanted the few friends i had. and that was fine. now i don't know. i don't want much of anything. i want tomorrow to be here before yesterday is over and i am tripping over nothing. because nothing is what's tripping me up. i need to do something with myself before i cave in and die

words i don't like very much except for sometimes

love

that word is so damned over used it makes me sick. i say i love you anyways. but i think i will have to invent a new word because i hate that word. it makes me sick. je t'iame.

my eyeballs are feeling like i pulled them out of my head and then shoved them back in but mixed up the eyes with the sockets and put them in the wrong ones like you sometimes put the wrong foot in the right shoe.

i might go to bed now. i keep feeling tempted to use this like a journal/diary thing-a-ma-bob but then i remember that for some odd reason i thought it would be cool to put my inner most thought on the internet where anyone could find them. why did i do this? i forgot. it is to late. good night computer screen. congratulations you have burned your eternal image onto my retina. now i can never forget you. *thunk*

broken computer key board

sigh